Thieves

There have been times in my life where it was absolutely impossible to find joy. There was no light to be seen. The air was heavy and it hurt to move. Just get out of bed. If you see your friends you’ll feel better. A little sunshine does wonders. All hilarious statements. I would have laughed but... 

that takes energy. 

Then there were the times when my worries became bigger than I was. My thoughts would race. My heart would race. My breathing would race. All this racing but nobody’s sure who won. The best times were when my worries were about nothing. So. Much. Energy. spent on if I’d really mailed the check to the plumber.  IdreallyliketogocheckthemailboxbutthatwouldbesillyofcourseIputitintherebutwhatifIdroppeditanditsflutteringaroundinthegrassIshouldjustgocheckbutthatwouldbesilly. 

Then one day you have had enough of the darkness.  Or your family has had enough of watching you spin in circles. Or the choice isn’t yours anymore because you have little people watching you and needing you. Whatever the reason you take a step toward change. And it’s scary. And hard. And nauseating. But you know you have to keep stepping. One foot then the other. Steady. Plodding. Stepping. 

You begin to realize that it doesn’t matter whether your steps are pills or conversations or stays or books or meetings or Jesus. What matters is that you make them. What matters is that you stay honest about needing them. What matters is that you talk about taking them. 

There is no shame in this walk. 

Today is World Mental Health Awareness Day. Depression and Anxiety have stolen the joy from my life numerous times. I am not uncomfortable admitting this, but many 

people are. The stigma associated with mental illness can delay treatment and prolong suffering unnecessarily. Please speak up if you see a loved one struggling. Offer them a kind word, a sympathetic ear, a cup of coffee whatever it takes for them to know that your opinion of them hasn’t changed. Taking the first step toward treatment is hard. Help your friend or family member be brave. Help them start their walk back into the joy.