I feel like I have a good attitude about the logistics of having such a large family. I've resigned myself to the fact that when I run an errand it will take me longer to unload all my kids than it will to accomplish my task. I know that going out for a quick bite to eat is never quick and that using a public bathroom with so many kids requires a prayer for empty stalls. Today I did not have a good attitude.
It didn't start out that way. I got to spend the morning with a sweet friend I hadn't seen in way too long and the littles were all in agreeable moods. After picking up O from preschool I decided to run into Target to grab a few things and see if the umbrella I wanted for our new patio table was in stock. Per the usual I ended up with both babies sitting in the actual basket and I had to cover them with my items. The umbrella was in stock so at one point I was trying to balance it across the top of the basket while pushing. I looked and felt ridiculous.
Across the aisle I saw salvation! An unattended and empty basket! I unloaded one baby and the umbrella into the new cart and set off to the check out lines. As I was walking off I heard someone say "Excuse me!" I turned around to see a stunning older woman. She had a face full of makeup, perfect hair, and a super cute outfit. She sternly told me I'd taken her basket and she wanted it back. I felt my face turn red and I scrambled to put Rhodes back into the other basket. As I was trying to re balance my umbrella Laurel threw my purse over the side of the basket (I guess she was making room for her brother) and everything in it spilled all over the floor. *side note... I stop at Sonic way too often. I had about 400 Sonic straw papers to pick up.* After what felt like an hour I had everything picked up and I passed the basket back to her. She didn't say a word, just turned around and walked off. She also never moved to help me pick up my things. The only word I can think of that describes how I felt was shamed. I was embarrassed to be wearing a dirty shirt (Rhodes has a cold and rubs his nose on my shoulder) and for needing a second cart to hold all my kids.
With a red face and shaking hands I checked out and walked to my car. I buckled everyone in and started unloading my bags all the while struggling to hold back tears. I was sick of everything being hard and taking so long. I was tired of having toddler boogers on my shirt and feeling frumpy. I didn't want to see anyone else count heads as I walk by or hear that I had my hands full. I'd just put the last bag in when a woman came up behind me and offered to take my cart. She sweetly reminded me to grab my phone and handed me the rest of Laurel's Icee. She smiled at me and made eye contact. She laughed and asked me how I'd managed to make it to my car with all the kids and the huge umbrella. She told me the babies were gorgeous and to have a great day. And just like that my bad mood was gone.
I know that I'm in charge of my reactions and I have learned that I can choose how someone makes me feel. That being said I also know that how we treat people matters. It would have been so easy for that woman to help me pick up my spilled things instead of standing over me and watching. Yes, it would have been an inconvenience to give up her cart, but what a difference it would have made to this busy mom. Say hello, coo over babies, make jokes, do the inconvenient thing if it makes a difference for someone else. Those seemingly small things add up. Kindness matters.
