My preference for working with young children stayed with me all throughout my career. I taught preschool, kindergarten and first grade. I once had a principal tell me that my assignment the following year would be second grade and I about had a heart attack. "SECOND GRADE?!? But they're BIG!" When I started having my babies I had no qualms about caring for them. I was confident I was meeting their needs and was enjoying every moment of it.
I had a really hard time when Will turned 7. All of a sudden he didn't want to be called Willy and he wanted a Nintendo DS instead of a Leapster. He started closing the door when he got dressed and he had friends that I didn't know. All of those things are natural milestones (well, not the DS) but knowing that didn't make them sting any less. It was an awkward year full of pushing and pulling by both of us. I wanted Will to grow up and be independent, but I wasn't sure how to deal with a 11 year old. I was so good with babies and toddlers, but what about tweens and teens? Just thinking about it made my anxiety go crazy.
Throughout all of this the constant joy for both of us was reading. Will had become a voracious reader. He was reading books meant for much older kids than 7 and was desperate to talk about them. We spent many hours laughing and talking about characters and plots. We scoured Barnes and Noble looking for the next book in our favorite series and jumped with excitement when a long awaited release date finally arrived. One afternoon after a particularly good conversation it dawned on me that I was really enjoying Will as a person. I liked his point of view and looked forward to our conversations. It was different than when he was a toddler and snuggled in my lap to read books, and I had to admit that I enjoyed it so much more!
Fast forward to now and Will is almost 10. We still have the best book talks, but now Grant, who is 8, joins us. My relationship with them is rich and full of laughter. Every day they amaze me with an observation or an odd fact and I get a little glimpse of the men they are growing into. I've learned that during this stage of parenting I will never have the confidence I had while raising them as babies and toddlers. The saying "The bigger the kid the bigger the problem" is most definitely true. I've had to commit myself to learning as I go. I can't anticipate and prevent issues with them like I could when they were younger. There are just too many unknowns and outside influences.
I could have never anticipated the amount of joy these big kids would bring me. Any uneasiness I have about our next journey (the tween years!!!) diminishes when I think about how much I worried about the stage I'm currently enjoying. Who knew that I'd be just as proud to be a "Big Kid Person"?
