Resolution

 

 

New Years Resolutions used to be a list of goals. The trend lately has been to choose a word or phrase. Your choice is supposed to serve as a focus or mantra for the upcoming year.  In the past I've chosen Simplify, Joy, and Creativity. My words have served me well and I can still pinpoint habits that have come from them. This year I've struggled to pick something. That isn't to say that I don't have goals or things I'd like to work on, but as far as a focus for the year nothing stood out. Then I read this:

 

 

 

I adore being home with my kids.  I love being there for all their firsts and watching them grow. I know that being home with them is a luxury and I'll be  forever thankful for this time. I'm happy to be "behind the scenes" keeping things running smoothly at home so Frank can do his job well.  I love raising my kids and I can see them growing into such wonderful and amazing people, but I struggle with feeling like I'm not enough. There is always this tiny nagging voice in the back of my head that says things like "Is THIS what God really wants from you?" "How does gluing googley eyes onto a sock puppet help others?"  I watch Frank go to work and I know, without uncertainty, that he is making a difference.  I hear Tana talk about her school and I have no doubt that she is impacting her students' lives.  They are both using their spiritual gifts and their impact is immeasurable. While laundry and diapers are necessary they certainly aren't noble.

 

This year I resolve to shut that voice down.  I AM enough and what I do matters.  I resolve to find the sanctity in the everyday. Most importantly I resolve to remember that I was chosen, by God, to mother these specific children.  How lucky am I that He is using me as a tool? What my childrens' journeys require is a mama that mops floors and cleans playrooms over and over. I can't think of more holy tasks and I'm blessed to do them.