Lately I have really been feeling the extremes of having five children. When things are running smoothly it is amazing! The house is full of laughter, messes are manageable, and I am able to go with the flow. BUT, then there are months like this one. The babies have been sick for what seems like weeks, Frank is working late most nights, and each big kid has had their own issue that has seemed extra needy. It's during these times that the noise in the house seems unbearable and I find myself saying "Go play outside" way more than I normally would. I notice that I'm constantly straightening and organizing, and any variation from our routine irritates me. I just can't relax and sink into the moment like I normally do. I am thankful for the ebb and flow of life as I know that this time will pass and things will calm down again.
I've been really thinking about is this blog. When I started this I intended for it to be a record of our family. I thought I'd show off pictures and record what we did each month. Without realizing it I'd slowly stopped making those type of posts (I think because I'm so active on Facebook). Instead, I'd started posting about how I was feeling about our family structure and the changes that were happening within it as my kids grew. I love writing about my family. It's a good outlet for me and it forces me to get to the root of whatever issue I'm being challenged with. What I'm struggling with is how this affects my Bigs. They have reached the age where they need privacy. Their stories aren't mine to tell anymore. I'm still thinking and reading other blogs to get ideas. To be continued...
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