Grateful

I woke up in a funk again today. I’m a little worried that this may be becoming a habit. I haven’t been depressed in a long time and I do not want to go back to the dark place. I have put some self care routines in place in hopes I can ward off whatever this is I feel looming. A good friend of mine recommended making a gratitude list as a way of centering myself and getting some perspective. I agreed that this was an excellent idea, so here’s my list of 7 things I’m feeling grateful for today. I’m warning you that some might seem rather trivial, but I’m a firm believer that the small things really do matter. 

1) I am so glad that I don’t have to sit in the Benold afternoon pickup line everyday.  Today was the first time I have had that experience. Holy. Moly. There is obviously some sort of “Carline Code” that I do not know because I could not figure out what was going on. Y’all, a man parked his car in the middle of the street and walked the rest of the way to the school. He just left his car sitting in the street. Is this a thing? Can we do that? I am extremely grateful that my kids happily ride the bus home. 

2) All five of my kids are happy about school. There are no tears at drop off, no drama on Sunday nights, and no kicking and screaming during the morning routine (I’m looking at you, O). It’s amazing. I’m grateful for the schools they attend and their gifted teachers. 

3) I love that F is blossoming as a father. He is finally able to spend one on one time with each child and everyone is benefiting from it. I love that he now has time to enjoy the home he works so hard for. I find him enjoying coffee by the pool, looking for plants for our yard, and changing lightbulbs without being asked. I love that he has hobbies and friends. Neither of those had been options for over 20 years prior to this new job. I am grateful for this very non traditional job that allows F to have a life and practice medicine. This is something very few physicians have the luxury of doing. 

4) Today I had the chance to visit with a friend who I don’t see often. We sat outside and watched the twins play and made snarky comments about my dogs and the cars driving by (It’s too weird to explain). As the morning progressed the conversation never waned. Every time she stood to leave one of us would mention another interesting tidbit that just had to be discussed.It was bliss. I’m grateful for my handful of friends who are more like sisters. I can fully be myself and soak in the joy and peace they provide. 

5) I love it when I’m in my backyard and I see the four big dogs come bounding out of their house into the yard next door. I know Suzi and/or Eric aren’t far behind. It’s such a comforting routine. They accept the noise my kids make with grace and love and I will forever be thankful to them for that. When F was worried about being gone for a week at a time with his job I had no qualms because I knew Suzi and Eric would be there. I am so grateful for my sweet neighbors. 

6) I had a hard time when O started kindergarten. He and I have a special bond and I really felt a loss when he was gone all week. After reading an article in the newspaper about fostering I impulsively stopped in the Georgetown shelter to get more details. I left with a pet carrier containing a tiny feral kitten. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Fostering has become a passion my entire family shares. I love having something we all enjoy that is entirely about giving and nurturing. Through the shelter I’ve made one of my dearest friends. She has seen me ugly cry more times than I can count and always trusts me when she gets the midnight “call me” texts. I am so grateful for impulsive, God led, life changing decisions. 

7) When the twins were tiny grocery shopping was a nightmare. I would wait until W and G got home from school because I needed two carts. The baby toddler arrangement went like this: I’d wear one baby, put O in the seat of the cart, and the other baby would be in their car seat in the basket of the cart. W and G’s cart was the designated food cart. It would take no less than 90 minutes, involve at least one diaper change, and I’d hear “you have your hands full” and “are they all yours?” probably 7,000 times. While I still have to make an occasional trip

to HEB the majority of my shopping happens online. I’m very grateful for amazon prime, instacart, shipt, burpy, and curbside pickup. Thank you from all mothers everywhere. 

 Ending the day thinking about all the ways I’ve been blessed has certainly improved my mood. I’m crossing my fingers that I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed and free from the dark cloud that’s been peeking at me.